Friendships are stressful, and exhausting when you have to make a good impression. Every individual has their morals, behaviour and perspective in life. In my case, it seems like the way I view the world, especially friendships is completely alien to others. As the years move along, life thrusts you into situations that develop interpersonal skills, which is useful when navigating different friends groups. In life, your closest friends expand their world by having other friendship groups, and sometimes you get to meet them when an event, or occasion present itself. It’s human nature to put your best foot forward when meeting others, listen and engage in the conversions. Sometimes you hit it off with your friend’s friends while other times, you’re not compatible with the friends, due to having a different sense of humour, lifestyle and much more.
Five minutes ago, I went on a twitter rant after raising up an issue with my friend regarding the vibes I got from her friend at an occasion she hosted, which she confirmed were true, bringing back a memory that happened years ago with another friend. About two, three years ago, a friend of mine at the time, would speak highly of her best friend, in turn, got me excited to meet her when the occasion presented itself. While we were at the party, I was familiar with the people in the room, which took my attention while my friend’s friend socialised with people and that situation didn’t give us enough of the time to have a one to one conversion. Until, the end of the party when we both said Hi, and goodbye.
That night, my friend at the time and I were on the phone when she told me that her friend had bad vibes about me, and it completely got me curious to know what her reasons for her dislike towards me. Because the last time I checked, we didn’t have the opportunity to communicate, and it felt like a personal attack to my character. Nonetheless, I brushed it off, like I always do with certain situations.
But, now that the same situation occurred, it’s made me question my characteristics and body language. As we further discussed the situation, it dawned on me that some friends would try to assert their dominance to raise their ego status in the friendship. Perhaps feel jealous over their friend’s friendship with the person, and in all fairness, I’ve been the friend that had to assert my dominance because I felt my friend was being taken away from me, however, I’d give myself the opportunity to know them before coming to a conclusion.
You’re probably reading this post because you’re not sure on ways to navigate the situation. Whatever feelings you have towards someone is completely natural and healthy, be that you’re the jealous friend, or you feel the need to extend yourself for your friend’s friend to like you, to keep the peace. Despite rationalising your feelings and can’t succumb to changing them, keeping a healthy distance is always an option to opt for, expressing your feelings towards your friend is also a good way to solve the problem, avoiding being a victim of isolation. I’ve been there. It hurts and can damage you socially, and reputationally.