Gaze into the mirror and tell me what you see? Are you the villain or the hero? I’m sure a lot of us grew up on Disney books. In the stories, there’s always a damsel in distress, villains and the helpers. Often, we paint ourselves as the heroes, never the villains. After all, it’s human nature to see oneself in a rose-coloured glasses, creating a false sense of self, making plausible excuses for our despicable behaviours. Some go as far as claiming they are the product of their environment. Although that may be true in some cases, when are we going to realise we are further damaging ourselves while hurting people in the process.
The internet is flooded with articles on ways to get rid of toxic people from our lives, sometimes warning others of a particular person by uttering that they are poisonous. But have we ever checked ourselves to realise that at some point, or another we have been the poison to someone. I can shamelessly raise my hands to be being the poison that had to be cut off. I’ve extended myself a little far to make friendships work with people, taking few hits to my self-esteem trying to measure up to them and went over and beyond to support, only to fold under pressure failing to reach their expectations and vice versa.
Sometimes, people aren’t deliberately manipulative, trying to make our lives miserable, we just forget to understand their side of the situation. Perhaps our priorities aren’t the same as people in our lives prioritise in their lives, and maybe they don’t understand our emotional needs. But it doesn’t mean that they are monsters. They are just not what we need for our emotional, and mental wellbeing. And it’s perfectly fine.
The point I’m trying to get across is, we aren’t all perfect, some toxicity comes from purest intentions with bad execution. We can accept our differences, and love them from afar if you feel like they aren’t what you need in your live. In life, there are friends for a season, and for a lifetime. Not everyone will like and accept you, a lesson I’m currently learning the hard way. This post is for those that find it difficult to forgive others and themselves, myself included. In the words of Elsa, it’s time to let it go.